A Man Molds His Four Stepchildren into a Family

(Editor’s note: Long-time Palisades resident Hester Palmquist penned this lovely story about her family. She said she did it after she read my story about my mom. Initially she told me the story was only for my eyes.  I begged her to let me publish it because in an era when there is so much derisiveness and a lack of civility, this was a joy to read. She finally agreed.)

By HESTER PALMQUIST

My mother and father were divorced when I was a very young child.  My mother married my stepfather when I was eleven, about to turn twelve. With this marriage, he inherited me.

He had been married once before to a British woman whose former husband had died. With this marriage he inherited two stepsons, Tony and James.

My mother and stepfather divorced five years later. He subsequently married a third time to a woman, Doris, he had gone to school with when they were young. She had a daughter from a previous marriage. So, my stepfather inherited another stepchild. Her name was Joanna.

My mother passed away when she was only forty-nine and I was twenty-two.  (We were living in the Alphabet Streets, in a home that was since bought, remodeled and now also gone after the fire. Doris took me under her wing and became my surrogate mother.

Joanna was an only child, and I was as well. Although she was five years older than me, we were both delighted to have a sister. After my mother’s passing, I now lived on my own as did Joanna. It was so wonderful to celebrate our birthdays, mother’s and father’s days and holidays together! Tony (from marriage #1 would join us when he was in town — he traveled frequently on business; his brother James lived in Nicaragua and was married to a woman from there and I only met him once.)

The bond between Joanna and me deepened as the years went by.  In the beginning when people asked how we were related, we began by saying (tongue-in-cheek) that we were related through divorce, then that we were related through marriage. That morphed into calling one another sister, eventually “sis.”

We had a very deep soul connection, loving one another so!  Very sadly, Joanna passed away in 2003 at the age of 63.

Our mutual stepfather passed away in 1990, age 75.  My husband, Murray and I were visiting him one night in Cedars Sinai Hospital. A nurse came into the room and upon seeing us asked if he was our father.

I initially replied “no,” then rethinking my reply said “yes.”  Judging from her look of bewilderment, I felt I owed her an explanation. So, I relayed the saga to her telling her that in marriage #1 he inherited two stepsons. In marriage #2 he inherited a stepdaughter (me). And in marriage #3 he inherited another stepdaughter (Jooanna).

I then said that he was a man that had no biological children but had inherited four stepchildren. Because of him we became a family, I said.  I then looked over at him who had heard all of this, and he had the most satisfied and peaceful expression on his face, as though (I thought) he was thinking “So this is why I was born/put here on earth!”  That was the last time I saw him.

Back to the pillow….Joanna had blond shoulder-length hair.  Most of my life I had long, dark hair that I parted in the middle, securing it at the nape of my neck with a clip.  I bought it at The Bay Pharmacy years ago when I was buying mascara.

They used to have a great gift selection and this pillow sat atop a display case when I was paying for my mascara. I immediately said I would take that too. I gave it to my sis, a symbol of our sisterly love.

When she passed away, I asked our “mother” Doris if I could please have it back and she agreed. It lived on our sofa until it was incinerated along with everything else we owned in the January 7 Palisades Fire.

Out of the blue I thought about this pillow and its sentiment, and I just typed it into Google and, lo and behold, I found the exact same pillow on eBay which arrived yesterday. It makes my heart sing!

And the sentiment “God Made Us Sisters…..” to me is a testament to the mysterious ways in which God manifests him/itself on earth, using, for instance, our stepfather Dick as an instrument for His work to be done. It was/is nothing less than a miracle!

This was Barbara Crawford, Hester’s mom in a 1963 Palisadian Post photo. The mother/daughter moved from Hollywood to the Palisades in 1955.