That Was Then . . . . Moving Forward

Behavioral scientist Dr. Zelana Montminy

Immediately after the fire, residents sought to hold onto what they had. For many Palisadians it was nothing – except community.

Resident and Amalfi Founder Anthony Marguleas hosted and paid for a gathering in a Santa Monica park a few months later, so people could see familiar faces and share with those who had undergone the same trauma. People could be with those who were in the same space.

The past year, residents have looked for answers. Initially, we sought help for survival. Now we’re in a different stage. We no longer need “hand-me” down clothes or toiletries gathered by volunteers. We’re either committed to rebuilding or to starting over in a new space.

People in Southern California – and the United States acknowledge the Palisades Fire was terrible and feel sorry for us. But their lives have gone on unchanged, and their tone to us is now “time to get on with your life.”

A friend sent this prayer from Dr. Zelana Montminy, a Palisadian, which sums it up brilliantly.

A Prayer for the After

For the spaces that feel hollow, For the weight that hasn’t lifted, For the pieces of life that don’t fit the way they used to-
Hold us here.
We have survived the breaking.
We have stood in the wreckage, sifting through what was, aching for what will never be again.

In the moment, when the world feels unrecognizable,
We stand in the space between what was and what will be.
We name our loss:
For the homes where we grew, For the laughter that filled the walls, For the ordinary moments now swept away—
We grieve.

But now, in this in-between, where the world expects us to move forward, where time insists on pulling us ahead, we are still learning how to be whole inside the loss.
So meet us in this middle place.
Not with answers.
Not with reasons.
But with steadiness.
With breath.
With something solid to stand on when everything still feels unsteady.

For the memories etched in ash, For the roads that feel foreign, For the lives forever changed,
We weep.
And yet, even here, in the wreckage, We reach for something unbroken.
To the unseen, the eternal, the whisper of hope –
Meet us in this silence.

And as the nights stretch long.
When despair threatens to take root, Remind us:
We are still here.
The light within us flickers, but does not fade.
Help us to rise-
not just from the ashes.
But into something new.
Stronger, Closer.
Unbreakable.

Teach us that grief is not a thing to outrun.
That healing is not erasing.
That moving forward does not mean leaving behind.
And when the ache rises unannounced, when the night stretches too long, when the world feels foreign in ways we can’t explain…

Help us find footing on this shifting ground.
Be the breath in lungs that feel too heavy to expand, the steady presence in a sea of uncertainty.
Teach us that what truly matters- love, connection, resilience-
Was never confined to walls or things.
Show us how to carry forward the invisible:
The bonds that no fire can consume.

Remind us:
We are still here.
Not as we were, but as we are becoming.
And that is enough.

– Dr. Zelana

(Editor’s note: Behavioral scientist, Zelana Montminy’s book “Finding Focus” was released in hardcover on September 16, 2025. She holds master’s and doctorate degrees in clinical psychology with a specialization in health and a focus in positive psychology and studied nutrition at Cornell University. She,  her husband and three children will return to a still-standing home, which had to undergo extensive remediation. She is a contributor to Good Morning America, The Today Show, E! Entertainment Television, People, Redbook, Shape, and PopSugar.)