Free Martinis and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
By BOB VICKREY – Special to Circling the News
As the first anniversary of Palisades Village rolls around next month, I thought I’d make a few suggestions for possible events to celebrate this big occasion.
Back to School – Get-Plastered-in-the-Park Week
**Moms come celebrate your empty house with us at The Drain-a-Wallet
**Order four martinis with lunch and get the fifth absolutely free
**Our helpful waiters will assist you to the car. (Remember to note where you park)
**Or, receive complimentary Uber ride home
September 1: Mini Brioche celebrates arrival of the 2020 Escalade Double-Wide Strollers
**Come check out the new strollers modeled after the stylish Cadillac Escalade SUV.
**Wider-than-ever, with a chrome bumper that will clear any sidewalk of unwanted pedestrians.
**Diesel Big-Rig eardrum-shattering horn that will let people know you’re coming through—Just $600.
**Surprised by the arrival of triplets? No problem. Add a side-car for $1,995.
**Luggage Rack – to store all those unwieldy, but necessary toys you need when you leave the house and take the kids for a spin in the village – a real bargain at $1,500.
Celebrate the “Dog Days” of September in the Village
**All month we’ll be celebrating our canine friends in-and-around the shopping plaza. Bring along your furry friends when you shop in September, and he, or she, will receive a free doggie treat from Erwhynot Market. (Gender-neutral dogs are, of course, always welcome.)
**Be sure and dine with our cooperating restaurants that will welcome your dogs at their tables. Just ask for a booster seat for your favorite pup, and he, or she, will be provided a chance to sit with you at the table.
**If you own a St. Bernard and bring him along to The Drain-a-Wallet, he can drink for free at the bar. (But unfortunately, St. Bernard’s will not be eligible to participate in the “All-You-Can-Eat” specials on “Taco Tuesdays.”)
**Black Belt Sushi will be offering your dog a personalized bib at no extra cost. We do ask that you limit the number of dogs at each table to no more than four. (Separate checks upon request)
September 3, 10, 17, & 24: “Nanny & Me” Tuesdays in Organic Park
**Meet your neighborhood friends, but don’t forget those kids!
**Enjoy the freshly painted green grass in the park, and be sure to remember your protective face masks. (Always affix your mask first, and then carefully secure the child’s mask.)
**Complimentary gluten-free snacks from Ultra Tiny Bites.
**Free sugar-highs for the kids from McBaskin’s.
**Crafts are available in the park for the kids so you can indulge yourself with that well deserved post-lunch nap on one of our complimentary blankets.
**Stay as long as you like – but please remember the kids when you leave
September 18: Stroller Races Are Back by Popular Demand
**Sign up early for this year’s race. Remember, only “Moms” can enter. Sorry Dad. You’ll have to enjoy this event from the sidelines.
**Yoga outfits are required this year. (Available at All-Out Yoga or Ace Hardware.)
**Proof of insurance is now required after last year’s unfortunate accident. (State Farm agents will be on hand for your convenience.)
**Race begins at Swarthmore Avenue and continues down Steadfast Lane and finishes at the Black Belt Sushi sidewalk turn. (Let’s all try to slow down at the turn this time and eliminate the tragic pile-up that marred last year’s event.)
**Only ONE child per stroller this year, unless you purchase the new Escalade Double-Wide model. (Check with a Mini Brioche employee or inquire at Concierge desk.)
September 21: Music in Organic Park, Featuring the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
**Mark your calendars for this spectacular event
**One performance only at 8 p.m. – tickets start at $1,200 for park seating, and bleacher seats on Monument St. are available on a first-come, first-served basis for $600.
**The legendary choir will be performing some of its biggest hits including “Up, Up, and Away,” “Stairway to Heaven” and “Foxy Lady.”
**Photo sessions with the choir are available. Family package begins at $250 – No “selfies” allowed. Reservations required. Check with the Concierge desk for details.
**Giant fireworks show following the performance sponsored by Erwhynot Market. (Of course, all fireworks are entirely gluten free.)
Bob Vickrey is a longtime Palisadian whose columns appear in several Southwestern newspapers including the Houston Chronicle. He is a member of the Board of Contributors for the Waco Tribune-Herald. His long-running “Lunch Club” series was published by the Palisades News. You can find more of his columns on his website: http://bobvickrey.net/
ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS! LOL, LOL, LOL…..m
Ha…that’s priceless!!! Will there be a discount at The Draycott? Mimosa Brunch with crayon coloring on the walls?
Every town needs a Bob Vickrey!!!
? ? LOL!!
What a great way to start the day!
Please have Bob write more! ??
Really?!?! Having people get wasted and THEN escorting them to their CAR?!?! To then do what, go pick up their kids from school?! Unbelievable. WHAT are they thinking?
Thanks Bob for a much needed laugh.
At least there is room for viewing which is all I can afford at the new town center. And if any of theses events ever came to fruition, I would drive my teeny little electric car to try to find a parking place anywhere in town just to watch.
Bob Vickrey, town treasure!
Wow! Sept 1-7 Does “GET PLASTERED IN THE PARK ” stand for GRANDMAS too?? ; “CATS DAYS IN SEPT”-saucers of milk on the table of participating restaurants so Kitty can dine ON the table WITH you; Sept. 21 -MORMON TABERNACLE CHOIR! Finally can leave hearing aids at home! Wouldn’t miss this as long as MARTINIS are served at our seats during the performance – also suggest SOUNDS OF SILENCE and PROUD MARY be included in the Program! A guest appearance of ELVIS wandering the Village would be meaningful! Can hardly wait for all this!!!!
Terrific, best giggle of the week! ????
Free martinis… Y E S !
This article is hysterical. Thanks for featuring it.
One of your best, and so today!
Bob that was great!